Plant some Pots!

I don't have a green thumb, but with the help of my gardening guru friend Mary Shearson, now even I can create beautiful outdoor planters and flower pots. And so can you! This short video was created for my other favorite site, Make it Better.

My Big O Sex Column

My latest "Sex & the Suburbs" column is all about orgasms. Relax, Mom, not MY orgasms - women's orgasms in general. And, no surprise, we're wired very differently from men. Here's a little teaser, below, but please read the complete article over at Make It Better - 5 Things to Know About the Female Big O.

image from makeitbetter.net

2. Straight-up sex rarely rings the bell

Fewer than 25% of women climax through intercourse alone. A woman’s hot button is her clitoris, which, since it’s external, is tricky to engage during intercourse. As Dr. Lissa Rankin writes in her book, “What’s Up Down There.” “The truth is that the majority of sexual positions that involve vaginal penetration fail to stimulate the clitoris at all. Most women need something more.”

Men often forget this fact, so to help them relate, ask your guy to imagine having sex without his penis being involved. Not that much fun, right?
 Click here for full article.

Outdoor Entertaining - A Nifty Nautical Theme Party

When it comes to throwing a party, no one does it better than my talented friend, event stylist Suzanne Armstrong. In my latest video for Make it Better, Suzanne shows how to celebrate with this season's trendy, preppy nautical theme. It's the perfect way to launch a high school or college graduate, but the ship-shape ideas can be adapted to any summer party and the cheerful theme is perfect for outdoor entertaining.

Brava Giada and Giuliana - from your newest fan

This week I've been surprisingly impressed with two Italian-born cable TV stars:  Food Network chef Giada de Laurentiis and E! host and reality star, Giuliana Rancic. Why? I'll start with Giada.

Giada de Laurentiis, image via giadadelaureniis.com

I'm not a foodie, but I have seen a few minutes of Giada de Laurentiis's show, Giada at Home.  At the time, I was struck more by what a babe she is than the dish she was preparing. The seductive way she leans over her chopping board and peers up at the camera is a talent on it's own. But two weeks ago, browsing the book section at Costco, I picked up her new cookbook,  Weeknights with Giada: Quick and Simple Recipes to Revamp Dinner for the bargain price of $18.99. My weeknight cooking has been dismally uninspired, so I figured I'd give it try.

Since then, I've made four of Giada's recipes - more new recipes than I usually try in a year.  I made Shrimp and Sausage Cioppino, Thai Turkey Lettuce Cups, Sweet and Spicy Greek Meatballs, and just last night, Toasted Ciabatta with Shrimp, Tarragon, and Arugula. These dishes are inventive and flavorful and not all that difficult to put together (if I concentrate.) My kids and husband are amazed.

Even though making dinner now requires me to shop at different stores for the higher quality ingredients (Jewel doesn't carry lemon grass or Thai fish sauce) and chop a lot of scallions and fresh herbs, I am enjoying my culinary adventure. I don't think I can go back to turkey burgers and bagged caesar salad. So on behalf of the whole Killeen family, thanks for cranking up my cooking engines, Giada.

Giuliana Rancic, image via eonline.com

Now, onto my next inspiring signorina.

Two nights ago, my daughter Emma was watching an E! True Hollywood Story episode about Giuliana Rancic that completely sucked me in. Her story is fascinating. She has achieved success through hard work and determination, yes, but also by being a fun, genuine, caring chick. Despite her rail-thin frame and designer duds, Giuliana is no diva.

I was aware that she and her husband, "Apprentice" winner Bill Rancic, have been struggling with fertility and the fallout from Giuliana's shocking  breast cancer diagnosis. But I didn't know that she was such a cool, brave, honest, positive person. And her Italian family is amazing. Every single one of them had tears running down their faces, expressing how much she means to them. You should have seen her papa try to keep it together. The show was so touching, I shed a tear or two myself.

Now, the Rancics have disclosed they are expecting a baby through a gestational carrier, empregnated with the couple's embryo, fertilized before Giuliana underwent cancer treatment. I wish them much joy.

What a happy ending. And what is going on here? I'm cooking and crying and gushing over a pair of women I'd barely noticed two weeks ago. Maybe I'm part Italian!  I look kind of Mediterranean, right? And it would certainly explain my love of the vino.

Ciao bellas!

In 5 words, how do you want to feel? I'll go first.

image via amazon.com

In Danielle LaPorte's inspiring book, The Fire Starter Sessions, she talks about the importance of knowing how you want to feel each day, and pursuing those feelings rather than setting goals or conforming to societal expectations or using money or belongings to measure your success. This concept is based on the belief that our emotions are the true guideposts to operating in our sweet spot, our bliss, our flow, our life's purpose, our true vocation.

It's a highly individual experience - what lights me up may leave you cold - but we all know it when we feel it. Unfortunately, most of  us don't feel it often enough.

I've spent some hours considering this, and here are the words (the book's exercise suggests choosing 3-5) that best describe what I'd love to experience.

 I want to feel:

Connected

Meaningful

Delighted

Turned on 

Committed

These words are rich in meaning for me. For example, when I say "Connected," I don't mean being able to get Blackhawks playoff tickets - I mean I want be part of something bigger than me, including my family, inspiring friends and mentors, my community, my audience, and this place and time. And "Turned-on" goes way beyond it's sexual connotation; it's about feeling so excited and attracted to ideas and situations and people that I wanna jump their figurative bones.

The point of identifying these desirable feelings, says LaPorte, is then you figure out what you can do to feel that way. And it's not selfish - feeling good puts us in our highest, most authentic, most productive place. If I want more meaning in my life, today I can make sure I'm thoughtful and thorough in my work, have real conversations with my kids, and read an inspiring book.

Phew, this whole concept comes as such a relief. If I can prioritize what makes me feel good, and so can you, we are all going to be so damn happy! How delightful!

What's one way you'd like to feel each day?

When I did this a few years ago, it was definitely a turn on

Fashion, Art, Food, Fashion - One Fabulous Day in Chicago

Here's why I love Chicago. On any given day there are so many cool, creative, cultural events to savor. In this town, food, fashion and art often go hand in hand and Wednesday and Thursday, I had a feast of the senses.

 On Wednesday, my friend Cheryl and I were guests of artist Gary Weidner at a hip reception at the new Wicker Park eatery, Storefront Company. Gary's mixed media mural from his "Flowers" series (see below) dominates the restaurant's dining room and infuses it with a moody, beautiful vibe.

Gary Weidner's mural at the Storefront Company restaurant in Wicker Park.

Our evening actually began around the corner at the Cynthia Rowley boutique on Damen. Cynthia, a Barrington native, is a good friend of Gary's and was hosting her own soiree to celebrate her 2012 Legend of Fashion award from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC.)

I wish I had snapped some pics of the elegant designer, but I was too busy eyeing the clothes at her shop.  One of her gorgeous jackets certainly caught Gary's eye, and he wore it for the rest of the evening.

Artist Gary Weidner, wearing Cynthia Rowley jacket, with friends.

Here's one of her dresses I coveted:

image from CynthiaRowley.com

I 

As for the Storefront Company, the Blood Orange martinis and hors d'ouevres (perfectly bite-sized, what a relief) were so yummy, I would definitely go back for dinner.

Blood Orange Martini.

Yum.

Thursday, the fun continued as a fellow mom friend and I took our budding fashionista daughters to see the SAIC student Fashion Show at Millenium Park (where Cynthia Rowley would be honored later that night.) I've never been to New York's fashion week, but this SAIC show was such an amped up, high dose of innovative design, it had to rival what goes down in Bryant Grant. Here's just a tiny snippit from the incredibly entertaining show.

Last night, overstimulated and exhausted, I spent the evening as I more typically do - wearing yoga pants and glasses on the couch, catching a few minutes of John Stewart before heading to bed. But what a great 24 hours it had been, and how wonderful that my daughter and her friends can soak up this city's talent and energy.

Future Fashionistas

PS - If you'd like an affordable piece of Gary's work, it will be for sale at ExhibitionA.com soon!

Spring 2012 Style - Start with Your Closet

Some of the hottest trends of the season - color blocking, mixed patterns - might be hiding right in your closet. In this short video I made for MakeitBetter.net, fashion editor Kat Achenbach shows a reader, Mia, how to work with clothes she already owns to create fresh and fashionable outfits without spending a dime. Let it inspire you to play around in your own closet.

Suburban Myth? Swingers on the North Shore

image via - makeitbetter.net

Sometimes my work as a columnist for MakeitBetter.net leads me into murky waters, and investigating my latest column about married couples who swing (switch partners) is an example.

In my relatively conservative community, Chicago's North Shore, there have been longstanding rumors about the existence of swinging, but, even though I'd asked around, I couldn't confirm any real evidence of the pursuit.

Then, through a friend, I found a forthcoming source who told me everything I could ever want to know about the swinging lifestyle (and more.) Unlike the boozy, free love key parties of the 70's, todays swinging scene is highly organized - with permanent facilities, websites, rules of etiquette and more.

This is as naughty as my
swinging gets.

To get an in-depth look at the "Lifestyle" read my full column - "Swingers on the North Shore - More Than Myth" - then let me know what you think. I do believe in a couple's right to define their relationship as they wish. But as for me, the only swinging I'll be doing is at a playground or at the Mexican beachfront bar at right.

Swimsuit Shopping doesn't have to Suck

In a couple weeks I'm going to Mexico with 45 people. Our group is comprised of a dozen high school senior boys along with parents and a few younger siblings. The boys are tight, but the rest of us don't know each other as well. Being in a bathing suit in front of so many people (including some super-fit moms) is stressing me out. I want to look my best, or at least feel comfortable.

So Friday, feeling unexpectedly brave, I went swimsuit shopping. I came home with a great suit, but it wasn't easy. Since I'm fresh from the dressing room, I thought I'd share some tips on how to make the whole potentially traumatic experience more pleasant for you.

Before you leave home:

• Be single-minded. Finding a good bathing suit is a big deal. Give yourself plenty of time for this mission and don't convolute it with other errands or shopping needs. 
• Set goals for your suit. My priorities were coverage, comfort and cuteness. I also wanted to play up my boobs while distracting from my wide hips.  I was leaning toward  a tankini, because the bikini bottom makes it easier to pee in public restrooms, while the longer top covers the tummy, but can be rolled up for tanning. You'll have your own criteria. 
• If you have no idea what styles look best for your figure, do some online research.
• Wear appropriate attire. I recommend you wear tiny undies - stuffing my boyshort briefs into bikini bottoms was not fun - big jewelry, and beachy shoes with a heel (shove 'em in your purse if it's not sandal weather.)

My pick: La Blanca Tankini
Image via Lord and Taylor

At the Mall:

• Find a store with a pleasing environment and a BIG selection of swimsuits. You need lots of options! I had found some suits I liked on Bloomingdale's website, but their in-store selection was disappointingly thin. Macy's had a huge assortment, but the department was messy, loud and chaotic - and seemed geared to 13 year-olds. I ended up at Lord &Taylor, which had a nice selection of chic styles and large, clean dressing rooms.
• Plan to try on many, many suits. Grab anything that you think might meet your criteria in a size at least one size bigger than your dress size. If you are normally an 8, start with a 10 and go from there. If you're trying on separates, you may need to mix and match. My bottom is a size bigger than my top!

In the Dressing Room

• Trust me on this - do not look in the mirror until the suit is fully on! Watching yourself squirm into a suit in bad lighting is not good for your self image. 
• Go easy on yourself. You are bound to try some suits that look simply terrible. I tried on a Miraclesuit that sucked in my waist like a corset, but squished my boobs as well. The last time I saw my breasts that flat, I was getting a mammogram. Remember - if you look awful, it's the suit's fault, not yours. 
• As you try everything on, be honest about what styles really flatter you, and readjust. For example, I thought I wanted a strapless bandeau or halter top, but those suits didn't give the lift my bust requires  to look perky. Well... perky-ish.
• When you find a suit that looks good, hang it on the "yes" hook and finish trying the others. If it's still one of your favorites, try it on a final time and examine yourself from every angle. Get really critical. Is it the best color for you? Can you swim in it? Is it gaping or pulling? Are you sure you don't need a different size? Then, If you still like the suit, buy it immediately and don't look back.

My Suit!

• I found I liked tops with sewn-in cups (without those little cup liners that are always sliding around) and wide, uplifting straps. I also developed a passion for ruching, because the gathered material covers a lot of lumps and bumps.
• In the end, I bought the red shirred La Blanca Tankini pictured above. The top cost $97 (ouch) and the bottoms $39 for a total of $136 plus tax.  It's not the sexiest, flashiest suit, but it's cute, it fits well, and I think I'll feel comfortable wearing it poolside with my 45 new best friends. After a couple stong margaritas, that is.

Are you going doing some swimsuit shopping this Spring? I'd love to hear about your experience and the suit you score!

April Update: here's a picture of me in Mexico wearing the suit. I was very happy with it - felt very comfortable whether sunning, snorkling, swimming or jet skiing. That forgiving pleating became even more important over the course of week as my intake of margaritas, guacamole and tacos went unchecked. Ole!

And now, Sh!t Middle Aged Women Say

Oh, yes we did. Piggybacking on the internet trend of the moment, my Succulent Wife pals and I bring you this silly video. Grab your readers and some Activia and enjoy!